Snowmageddon

I confess that I am feeling stir crazy.

Polar cold and 19 inches of snow have kept me isolated in the house. After six days of not seeing a live person, I went outside to shovel. A neighbor I regularly talk to in the summer was outside too. When he came to the fence to say hello, I was surprised when tears filled my eyes. I had to look away and keep shoveling til I could compose myself. Leave him to play with Jackson a minute. A real live person!

To battle Season Affective Disorder, I started cruising in the 90’s. Sun, heat, and being away from home was enough to get me through til crocus’ break their brave heads through cold soil. Til the birds sing. Til mornings smell like the world starting to live again. Just writing it fills my head with images and makes me smile.

My love language is touch and, quite frankly, I’ve been starving for four years. But I accept responsibility to not allow being single compounded by isolation to result in foolish behavior.

I’ve gained six pounds since winter started. I’m much more sedentary now that I can’t be outside. But I accept responsibility for eating and drinking less and more dancing in the kitchen.

I accept responsibility for my own emotional, spiritual, and physical health. I’m reading more. For fun, not just for self-help or learning. I stay in touch with people via social media though the opportunity to chat on the phone is wonderful. I look for opportunities to be with others. Being at church is even more essential. Two granddaughters were here on Saturday. A meal at a new friend’s house on Sunday. I’ve made plans for small group activity in February/March.

I like to dream about the change of seasons and what I’ll do outside. Family has offered to help lay a patio for the chairs and patio table. Where do I want it? What must be completed nearby to make sense? I planted two dinner plate hibiscus last fall. That flower bed will need filling with more plants and shaping. What shape? How big? Annuals or perennials? Most importantly, I want to build a rock garden but like a cairn. It will be a visual reminder of God’s faithfulness to me. Rocks of remembrance. To honor God, my heart requires it to be beautiful and I’m trying to figure out if what my mind sees is possible to build. And, I’ve actually completed a project rather than dream about it. See the photo at the top of the page? That’s the end result of painting one wall. I’m delighted. Spirits lifted. House more beautiful. Should I do my bedroom too……?

And I have to remember….to believe…..that this time of quiet and dark is not just the earth’s time to rest, but mine too. Not feel guilty about Netflix in bed. Yes, I said bed. I bought a tv for the bedroom for comfortable cuddling with my best boy. Quiet mornings of coffee wrapped in my bathrobe. No grass that needs cutting or weeds to pull. Time to ponder what God is already doing and also what he has in store for me. Watch with expectant joy for the opportunities He (always) brings.

My promise is that you’ll not find me frozen in the snow from madness like Jack Nicholson in “The Shining”. My promise is that isolation does not lead to foolish behavior. My promise is that even if a few pounds heavier, I’ll soon be back outside walking the dog, chatting with neighbors, and working in my garden. Those pounds will right fall off.

I’m gonna be ok and guess what? So are you. No matter the length of winter as a season or winter in your heart, Spring always comes again. Always.